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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28993137">I fell for your smile</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/scout_titan/pseuds/scout_titan'>scout_titan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Death, M/M, Modern AU, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, erejean - Freeform, i am so sorry in advance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:20:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,475</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28993137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/scout_titan/pseuds/scout_titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Jean hates Eren, until he doesn't, and they stay together, until they don't.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I fell for your smile</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope you enjoy this small fic, I had a fun time (well) writing it! This goes out to my friend, love you sunshine!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            He fell. Once again, Eren fell in love. But this time, it wasn’t like before. From his previous relationships, Eren always loved the feeling of love and the attention way more than the person. Yet, when he sees Jean leave his place, he misses his lover more than he ever missed not having someone be infatuated with him. It wasn’t a new thing for Eren to have people at his feet. He was a tall, handsome man that would make your heart skip a beat with just one look. He was charming and knew exactly what to say to make you agree with him and slowly lose yourself into his sugar-coated words. But such a thing never happened with Jean. The latter never gave in to Eren’s charm, he didn’t get weak at the knees when Eren gave him a charming smile. Jean always brushed off the flirty remarks Eren would send his way. Because Jean wanted more than just to be played around. He wanted love. For the time he had left, he wanted to feel real love.</p><p> </p><p><br/>
            To this day, Eren does not understand how Jean said yes to him. He had tried everything to make Jean into his lover, yet with every single proposal, he was shut down. Eren would never have admitted it during that time, but he was hurt by the harsh words Jean had spouted towards him. He still remembers that day like it hadn’t been years since then. After yet another long week of classes and personal matters, Jean and his friends, Sasha and Connie, had decided to go out and the bar next to their campus. They had planned to stay for a little time, enough to get themselves tipsy before heading out to their dorms. But, of course, things never went the way Jean planned them. Just as he had entered the bar, he had heard the loud and obnoxious voice of the person he hated the most. Eren.</p><p> </p><p>            Well, hate might have been a strong word. To put it better, Jean disliked seeing, hearing or even knowing that Eren existed. Just the reminder that Eren’s dorm was only three doors away from his made his skin crawl. And having to see that man at his favourite spot made things even worse. He felt suffocated by Eren, he felt that nothing belonged to him anymore because Eren had invaded his personal bubble. Yet he never understood why. Just what was the reason as to Eren’s affection with him? Jean was sure that he will never learn the answer to that question.</p><p> </p><p>            Jean’s first instinct when he saw Eren was to turn around and exit the bar, but he wasn’t quick enough. The long-haired man had already spotted him, and with a quick shout from him, Jean stopped his movement. He didn’t even have time to process what had happened before Connie dragged him towards Eren’s table. And like always, he was pushed down next to his least favourite person in the room. And like always, Eren picked up the flirting from the second their arms touched. That night, Jean could not escape the “love”, “darling” and “baby” Eren was throwing at him. Yet, there was still a part of him that wanted more. He didn’t want the fliting, but he wanted to feel Eren’s arm around his shoulder more. He wanted to engulf himself into Eren’s scent and his arms, to feel him closer, to hear the sweet nothings whispered into his ear, to be able to feel his fingers on his skin like no one else had dared to, he wanted Eren. He knew there was no point in them dating, yet he still wanted to feel loved by him.</p><p> </p><p>            It took Jean a few seconds to realize what he was thinking about. He had been staring at Eren’s face for a tad bit too long, and the latter turned towards him, giving Jean a disgustingly cute wink, and that was enough for Jean to fling Eren’s arm over his shoulder in rage and quickly leave the bar. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the mixed emotions he was feeling, but the second he heard Eren’s voice calling him as he was walking back to his dorm, Jean could not hold it back anymore. With one quick movement, he turned around and pushed Eren away from him. “What the fuck do you want Yeager?” Jean surprised even himself with the harsh tone he had used. Eren stepped back, his brows furrowing “I just wanted to see if you’re okay. You left all of a sudden and it worried me”.</p><p> </p><p>            Jean scoffed, his hands running through his hair “Aren’t you just a fucking saint? What would we do without you, huh? Listen here you fucking asshole, stay the fuck away from me. I don’t know who you think you are, but your fucking tricks won’t work on me. I don’t have much time to waste around. Why don’t you go and bother someone else you fucker? I am sick and tired of having to put up with you and your games, just fuck off already and leave me alone.”</p><p> </p><p>            At that moment, Eren knew he was in love with Jean. Not because seeing him so mad made him hotter, which it did, but also because Eren had never felt his heart shattered more than in that moment. Not only that but seeing Jean turn around and walk away made it even worse. He felt like he had lost something in him. He could not explain it even today, but at that moment, Eren felt like all life within him had died. He would think that getting such a reaction from Jean would make him happy, after all, Eren loved the attention, yet all he could think about was that he had messed up. All he wanted at that moment is to see Jean’s beautiful smile. The smile that made Eren pursue him. That damned smile that could put an end to Eren’s worries. Yet, he was the one that destroyed it. He was the one that Jean hated, and he was the one that will have to pay for it. For the first time in his life, Eren had put someone else above himself, and to him, that was love. And he was in love with Jean.</p><p> </p><p>            The days following their fight had been more gloom than anything. Eren had finally come to terms with his feelings while Jean had to sort his out. And as much as Eren hated it, he kept avoiding Jean for the following weeks. Even Armin and Mikasa, Eren’s best friends, realized something was wrong. But they never asked, seeing as this was more than just a small fight between “friends”. The days went on, and Eren thought that his feelings would slowly fade away, yet they were only getting stronger. He had to stop himself countless times from running towards Jean, taking him in his arms and staying together like that until the end of times. But he couldn’t do such a thing. He didn’t want to ruin things even more. Eren thought that if he gave Jeans some space, the latter will forget about everything and they could go back to how they used to be, minus the flirting.</p><p> </p><p>            On his side, Jean was more confused than anything. He didn’t know how it happened, but he started missing Eren more and more. He started missing the teasing, the small touches Eren would place on his skin, the soft words he would send Jean’s way while being harsh with everyone else. The accumulation of all the things that Jean used to hate began to be the things he now missed. It was still a mystery to himself too, but Jean could not stop from thinking about Eren and how his heart hurt whenever he would walk in their class and sit on the opposite of him, nothing even looking in his direction. Just one time he caught Eren looking at him, and for the first time in forever, Jean could feel the butterflies in his stomach act up. Just one look was needed, and Jean realized that he had made a mistake. He realized he had to go back to Eren. Even for a small amount of time, he wanted to be with Eren.</p><p> </p><p>            Once he put his mind to something nothing could stop Jean. As all his friends were leaving the classroom they had and heading to the bar, Jean stayed behind, looking out to see where Eren was. The tall man was at the back of the class, taking his time to arrange his notes and placing them in his bag. Jean let out a heavy sight and made his way towards Eren’s seat and slammed his hand on the table, making Eren jump slightly. “My dorm room, now.” Jean turned around as soon as he finished his sentence and walked out of the classroom. Eren knew exactly what that meant and he gathered all his stuff before walking after his crush.</p><p> </p><p>            Their walk back to the dorm was silent, neither of them daring to whisper a word. Yet, Eren couldn’t stop looking at Jean. With every step the latter would take, Eren would be studying his entire demeanour. His walk, his hands swaying by his side, the way he would nod as he saw someone he knew, the small sparkle in his eyes as he saw a dog passing by. Anything that would catch his attention, Eren noted it down in his brain as things he loved about Jean. And somehow, he knew that the list will only get longer from now on. Jean did not even dare to look at Eren. He could feel the green eyes on him, yet he continued walking, keeping a safe distance between them. He knew that if his hand would even slightly brush against Eren’s, he would drop everything and hug him right there and there. He couldn’t act like that, he still had to show Eren that he was pissed.</p><p> </p><p>            Upon arriving at their destination, the two of them could feel the awkwardness that settled inside the room. They both stayed at opposite sides, an awfully long silence falling between them. Eren finally cleared his throat, getting Jean’s attention on him. “So what’s up?” Eren looked at Jean, trying to meet his eyes. “Shut up, I’m thinking” Jean’s answer came quite fast after the question. Truth be told, he had no idea what to say or to do. His head was a mess and Jean realized he should have planned things out. But that was already too late, and the only thing that Jean wanted to do was to kiss Eren, and that is exactly what he did. He closed the space between them and grabbed Eren’s face with his hands before gently kissing the long-haired man. Eren didn’t waste any time and he wrapped his arms around Jean’s figure while deepening the kiss.</p><p> </p><p>            None of them remembers just how long they stayed like that, but they were both certain the kiss was much needed. After what seemed like hours of kissing, the two men parted slightly, looking at each other and understanding the love they both had for one another. That night, Eren stayed over and they were finally able to have a normal conversation. And that night, two souls found their perfect match. They had finally found one another. They were finally together.</p><p> </p><p>            Eren still saw that as the most beautiful night of his life. He had never been able to open up to someone else as much as he opened up towards Jean. He still remembers Jean’s smile and his laugh that night. He had engraved in his head just how beautiful Jean was. He had made a pact with himself to never forget just how perfect his lover was. And as he was standing over Jean’s hospital bed, the memories played over and over in his head. And just like a book being read, the rest of the memories came flooding in. Their first vacation together, the trip they took across Europe, the hospital visits, the time he met Jean’s parents for Christmas, when they adopted a small puppy, when Jean’s health was slowly deteriorating.</p><p> </p><p>            Eren had known form the beginning. The night they talked was also the night Eren learned about Jean’s condition. His lover didn’t have much left to live, as he had already entered stage 3 lung cancer. Deep down, Eren knew since the first moment that one day he will have to say goodbye. Yet, on the surface, he kept telling Jean that everything will be okay, that a miracle will appear and he will be healthy once again. But that miracle never came. And Eren stayed by his side until the end. From the beginning, he had promised Jean that they will experience a lifetime of happiness. That they will grow older together and watch their grandkids grow and they will be happy until their last breath. And Jean accepted with a smile. He wanted to believe that to be the truth, he wanted to experience a future with Eren. And he did. Until it got cut short.</p><p> </p><p>            Eren had not once cried in front of Jean. Yet, as the doctors were getting ready to stop the machines keeping Jean alive, Eren could not stop the tears from falling. He had wished to be strong in the last moments, he wanted Jean to see that he will be fine. But they both knew Eren would never be fine after this. And as he stood there, Eren took Jean’s hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the pale fingers of his lover. Jean giggled weakly, a beautiful smile making his way across his lips. Eren wiped his tears away, wanting to get one last look at the most beautiful smile in the world. “I loved that smile since day one” Eren could barely finish the sentence as he saw the doctors starting to close the machines. Jean looked at him, a small sparkle in his eyes “Is that why you fell for me?”. Eren smile, nodding his head and he held Jean’s hand closer. The latter closed his eyes, a tear dripping down his face as he felt the oxygen being taken away from him, the seconds getting slower “I found out in the end” Jean said, his signature smile on his face as he gave his last breath.</p><p> </p><p>            Eren had stayed with Jean until the very end. As they took his body away, Eren couldn't bring himself to leave the room. He stayed even longer, crying as he felt his heart shatter for a second time in his lifetime. Once again, he had lost something inside of him. And this time, it will be forever gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed it and I am really sorry if I made you cry, don't worry I cried while writing it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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